Listen oh Listen!

My heritage is Scottish. This is the root of 'Eilidh', which is Gaelic for Helen. My clan motto is ‘Listen o’ Listen!’ - perfect for a professional speaker and coach! My ancestors would have shouted our battle cry, ‘Listen o’ Listen!’ at warrior opponents, as they came hurtling down the Scottish Highlands brandishing their claymores. My modern day approach does not physically threaten my clients however; I do connect powerfully with their emotions via the media of storytelling, relevant anecdotes and using the power of rapport.

In my experience, stable and securely grounded relationships are at the core of most significant aspects of a happy life. Quality relationships are key. It is essential in both personal and business matters that good, solid foundations are established from the outset. Good relationships then facilitate the success of common goals and objectives. Good relationships can become exceptional relationships. When I look at couples with successful marriages for example; the synergy within that family; the rapport they have developed has been instrumental in allowing them to further extend meaningful relationships to friends and worthwhile business pursuits.

The most significant aspects of your will life have sophisticated and highly developed relationships based on rapport. Little things make a BIG difference, sometimes seemingly insignificant or small interactions between with others are the important ones. Take listening for example, it is a very under-rated skill. When we understand how simple interactions work, we can use them to build rapport. We have to understand the other person. NLP is one method that can assist us to do this. Note I did not say, “Try to understand;” for as Yoda said, “There is do or not do, there is no try!” If you only try, then you will use NLP as a techinique and others see through techniques. If you embrace the theory behind the process and make it part of your everyday communications and dialogue then you will truly benefit and reap the rewards of your effort.

I have lady, who has been a client for some time. We have developed a relationship of mutual respect and trust. During a session, she told me about her imminent IVF treatment. She voiced concerns. She was very nervous and feared the unknown. Without thinking, I matched her tone. She leant forward to give me very personal information and I matched her body language and unconsciously mirrored her facial expressions. The client and I used similar pitch and pace within our speech patterns. For me, this is an automatic response, as I am able to call on my people skills. If you are not confident in this way, then I suggest you consider attending basic NLP training. By so doing you may develop a better understanding of what goes on between yourself and others - figuring out how how they think, realising what they want and understanding what makes them tick. I studied NLP during my coaching diploma, however, I learned as much if not more as a child watching my mother interact with others. The coaching course supported and consolidated my personal experiences.

I gave my client time to voice her concerns. I used active listening skills and empathy then suggested she might speak to a colleague, who is a retired GP and works for the charity “Foresight". It helps couples who are planning a family. Foresight encourages them to be in the best of health. The preconceptual approach of the charity can help with overcoming issues in connection with conception, pregnancy and birth. My client left happier and more relaxed about her future and the pending medical treatments. She felt more in control. In addition, she booked an appointment, kissed me as she left, we hugged and we laughed saying how much we looked forward to our time together.

Little things- like active listening -do make a BIG difference!