IMU

Pity Parties
And doing things differently

I have been taking care of my customers for over fifteen years. I like to do things differently. My clients are very special people…they may not be on the A-list; however they are all stars in my eyes and I treat them accordingly.

Not many therapists welcome clients into their homes…but I do. When you walk into the sun lounge studio the mood is bright and cheerful. You are offered chilled filtered water, coffee or a fruit tea. Or as in the case of Helen - a hot chocolate with double cream! And perhaps we share a joke or two, or talk about our families, holidays and shared experiences.

My mother was a very grounded individual and her unconditional love has given me a great feel and love for life. I never get down in the dumps. I am very upbeat. Stuff happens to us all. We all get what I call ‘life attacks’ so we just have to get on with our situations. When things go wrong, I talk myself back in to my space…my own happy unique space. And then I can share my happy spirit with others.

I like to think that an appointment with me is ‘an emotional experience’ for my customers. My aim is to deliver a first class service with the professional ear of a coach. I offer stability; a safe environment where customers can share their news and views and address any concerns in total confidence. For me, this is very important.

If a client leaves me feeling happier about themselves and laughing… then I am happy. If they go away with relaxed faces, looking good and feeling great, then I have done my job. My loyal customers become friends and they tell me that coming to the Studio is more like visiting a close confidante than a therapist or colour coach. In the words of a Lorna, a delightful client, “Eilidh makes me feel like part of her family!”

Clients have all sorts of personal issues when they walk through the Studio door. And at this moment in time I am thinking of Gill… and so many other girls like her. Their dream is to be a mum. Not too much to ask surely? And yet, for some reason motherhood eludes them. All of their circumstances are different, as are their backgrounds however they share the same deep desire to be pregnant.

This seems to be a much more common complaint nowadays. There is good treatment available and perhaps it does add some reassurance to know that other women have the same challenges. However, I find myself saying; “There but for the grace of God go I.”

It is a very hard road to go down. And Gill has been on her path for eight years now and getting panicky if not desperate, as this could be her last attempt at fertilisation.

During Gill's session, we talked and talked. My key coaching points to her this morning were:

1. Avoid pity parties

Avoiding negative people who want to add their woes and troubles to an already burdened soul is essential. This is doubly hard for Gilly as she is a very giving, kind and thoughtful practitioner working within the NHS. She needs to be selfish for a few months, to say ‘no!’ at times and to focus on her own needs.

2. Do not feel guilty

Gill feels guilty as she does not have the energy or time that she has had in the past to give to her aging parents at the moment. So we made an acrostic for guilty!

Give

U – yourself

Indulgent

Leisure

Time

YES! Yippee! Yahoo!

Why not bear this in mind next time you feel inappropriately guilty? Look at guilt from a different perspective.

It works for me…and many of my clients...

And a final thought, it says on my Cool Beans ™ Desktop, “It is a privilege to be a parent…” these words seem so true, when I meet clients in Gill’s situation.

Let’s wish Gill and all the girls and guys, who just want to me mums and dads, all the best of luck in their pursuit of parenthood.