Never Break the Circle

Eileen is a teacher. We met at a recent speaking event. During the session it became clear that Eileen had some personal issues to deal with and at the coffee break we spoke.

She told me that her daughter is a heroin addict with severe addiction problems…so much so, that Eileen has become the official guardian of her two grandchildren.

What on earth do you say when people tell you of these personal tragedies? As a speaker, it happens to me on a pretty regular basis. I always find it humbling that people open up their hearts to me. In this case, I was stunned to silence not knowing how best to proceed… Eileen went on to describe herself as a survivor. She had taken support and sought counselling and found advice from a PADA worker invaluable. Let me share it with you now…the circle concept…

The family forms a circle; a circle that cannot and must not be broken. The family has to link arms, hold hands and stand together whatever happens and at all costs the circle must never be broken. Eileen realised that in the past, when she had gone off to search the streets and alleyways for her daughter she had in fact been breaking the circle and leaving it open and vulnerable. What she had to learn to do was to tell her daughter that she loved her and that she always would – unconditionally. But that she, Eileen had a responsibility to keep the circle intact. Her daughter knows that the circle is there for her too and at anytime she can re-join it and take strength and support from her loved ones. However, she also knows that the circle is precious and fragile and must always stay connected to survive.

What a powerful survival strategy this is – never underestimate the power of the circle. In the case of Eileen, it has been the support mechanism that has allowed her to be another survivor with spirit.